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Sunday, December 18, 2005


conspiracy theory 


Santa/Satan.

Saint Nick/Old Nick.

Coincidence? I think not.


Comments:
I made the same point to somebody just the other day and they replied tersely that i had a dark imagination. Naturally i threw back my head and laughed heartily for a full five minutes. When I had returned my head to it's usual position and ceased laughing, I observed that I was sitting alone in a dungeon full of raw meat.

 
You've blown your chance of getting any interesting pens in your stocking this year, Dave.

 
How come you've got time to read blogs? Isn't this meant to be your busy time of year? Or do you subcontract it all out to third world sweatshops these days? I bet you do.

Not only is Santa really Satan but also he's an evil multinational with scant regard for human rights. You heard it here first.

(I suppose that means no interesting pens for me ever again).

 
>How come you've got time to read blogs? Isn't this meant to be your busy time of year?

No, the begining of April with all those tax returns for the VAT man is the real bitch.

>Or do you subcontract it all out to third world sweatshops these days? I bet you do.

Well, you know, once those Elves got unionised I had to update to modern business practices. Obviously parents do the bulk of it for free, which is a bonus, but the remainder is currently done in Asian Pacific free trade zones. Made for kids, by kids, that's what I like to say.

>Not only is Santa really Satan but also he's an evil multinational with scant regard for human rights. You heard it here first.

Yeah, well, you shouldn't act surprised, Dave, I've been in partnership with Coca Cola since 1931:

http://www.buildingbrands.com/lightrelief/10_coca_cola_and_father_christmas.shtml

>(I suppose that means no interesting pens for me ever again).

Too right, and you're heading off for a new year in a Mexican maquiladora making tinsel if you don't shut it right now.

 
What's a maquiladora? 'Cause, you know, I'm betting January in Mexico is at least warmer than here...

Hmm, maybe too hot though.

Okay, shutting up now.

 
It's an assembly factory which keeps workers on poverty wages and helps people like me avoid health, safety and environmental restrictions, and Elvish union organizing. You wouldn't earn enough to pay rent so would probably be living in a shack on site, and be working a 60 hour week. Got to go, the accountant's on the line. Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas one and all! And such like.

 
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