Have you been out today?

The lack of posting in recent weeks has, of course, been as a result of my being oh so terribly busy with amazing and interesting stuff that I cannot detail here for fear of throwing light upon the drab horror of your own tawdry lives and furthering your already well-developed (though repressed through vigorous denial) feelings of self-loathing, worthlessness and inadequacy. It is not, in any way, due to me spending my days rather boringly sat on my arse in front of the computer working. And it certainly isn't anything to do with a barely controlled addiction to internet Scrabble (though if it were then the blame would fall to Richard Herring and Stefan Fatsis rather than any failing in my own character). No, no, no - life has simply been too packed with glorious adventure to find time to bother you with it.

Well, all right then, just as a taster I could tell you that I have twice spotted a second frog on my allotment. How exciting is that? Oh, I'm sorry, it's just too much for you isn't it? Have a cup of tea and a sit down.